"WE DON'T SAY THOSE WORDS IN CLASS"
As parents and educators, it is important in order to keep a sharp eye out on what our children are saying to one another (whenever possible), and especially moments when our children may be curious about someone else's appearance. I can honestly say that I have several times reprimanded my 8-year-old daughter within her lifetime because she has been overly vocal towards being curious about someone's appearance. I consider my current 8-year-old to be the overly inquisitive one, and the downside to that is that she is extra loud and occasionally unconsciously offensive without honestly trying to offend someone.
On one occasion I remember that we were grocery shopping and a little girl who had to wear a leg brace and arm assists to walk was limping beside her mother. For whatever reason, my daughter asked me about the little girl's walking utensils in an extra loud manner when we were near the mother-daughter-pair and caused the little girl to look down. I was so embarrassed and reprimanded my daughter asking her how she would feel if someone did that to her, and had her to apologize to the little girl. The ironic thing is that my daughter had a true look of misunderstanding on her face as if she did not know that she offended the little girl. I think that was the moment that I decided to "educate" her genuinely for a moment right there in the store, and let her know how sometimes our words can unknowingly offend a person, and that if it was the other way around and someone said something towards her and hurt her feelings. A slight hint of understanding began to settle in, and my daughter took the initiative to re-apologize to the girl again, which seemed to mean more to her, because she smiled at my daughter.
According to our wonderful reading, when "teachable" moments such as these occur, it is important to respond quickly and clearly, so that a child understands why they are being corrected. The text further explains that if we as educators ignore or these types of comments (even those with un-intended harm) it will give that child the "green light" to further make additional comments towards children who are different (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010). The text also makes a very valid point that we should next, involve those children who were targeted, as well as the rest of the class so that everyone has the opportunity to learn from the experience (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010). I must admit, that I actually did this, in this case, create an appropriate resolution that involved my daughter and the little girl. Once this was resolved, and my daughter and I returned home, I also involved my other 4 daughters, so that they would also have a heads up on what to do, and what not to do in this situation. Handling this situation as an educator can get out of hand if not handled correctly, so I am glad in this instance that I was able to apply a solution in a quick manner!
Reference:
Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.
HI Iesha,
ReplyDeleteThis was a great blog post I love that you talk about the moment after the incident when you reprimanded your daughter. You described your daughter's look as misunderstanding. I loved that you recognized that and made it a teachable moment. Children create questions out of curiosity and many times their statements are of an innocent nature (Derman-Sparks & Edwards (2010). Explaining to children what people with varied abilities can and cannot do helps them to be able to make sense of what they observe. Asking them questions about the child with varied abilities can help educators figure out what the motivation is behind the child's thought process which can guide them to a better way to thinking (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010). Providing them with useful information and correct information about the varied abilties help children better understand as well (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010). You were able to provide your daughter with knowledge and instant feedback to her reactions to the child with braces which was important.
Hi, Iesha!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your family's teachable moment. Your eight year old sounds a lot like me at that age. The only difference is that I did not ask any questions in public because my momma was and is still known for hitting first and asking questions later!
Anywho, FOUR decades later, I am still asking questions and sometimes I am loud (because I am country and country folks HOLLAR). I don't ask about disabilities but I swear my poker face and intelligently speaking goes out the window if someone is doing something that seems silly, stupid, or mean. For example, my co-worker barked at another co-worker as if she was somebody's boss. I kindly stepped out of my shoes and told her loudly. "If you yell at her again, I will beat the pet milk out of you!" Yep, I am a protector, inquisitive, and pretty damn smart when I think about it! Your eight year old will soften her edges as she matures but that spunk will always be there. Hang on in there!
Keep moving forward...Quay
Iesha,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I think that it is very important to use "teachable moments" to direct children on how to handle situations where they encounter people who look different. I, just like you, know that in most cases children say things out of curiosity rather than an intent to harm. However, they need to know that their natural curiosity can unintentionally hurt someone's feelings. I think it is absolutely necessary to directly teach children what to do in these situations, especially when these situations are fresh in their minds. Anytime you can gather groups of children to discuss these incidences whether it be at home or at school. Class meetings are a great place to practice this strategy. A culturally responsive teacher would want to address situations such as these with their entire class so that all children understand how their reactions and responses can help or harm. Speaking to children in groups also ensures that the particular child is not made to feel guilty for a natural response that was not meant to bring harm. I am so glad you took the time to create a "teachable moment" with your entire family!
Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.
Hi Iesaha,
ReplyDeleteI believe that it is great that you made it into a teachable moment with your daughter. We are always so quick to yell and reprimand that the words don't come out how we want them leaving our children confused and uncertain of why they got in trouble to start with. I always try to explain things to my daughter when she does something inappropriately. Creating teachable moments in our personal lives as well as in the school setting will generate a lot of learning opportunities for the children we interact with.